I’m reading ‘The Artists Way’ by Julia Cameron at the moment. And on this particular rainy morning, last Wednesday in fact, the crazy torrential rain woke me up at 6am.
It’s a delicious thing, to be awake before anyone else, even the cat (especially the cat, since he has a habit of climbing under the covers with me, then sits on my chest, dragging his claws across my skin, drooling happily).
So there I was, awake. The house silent. I took advantage of the early hour to journal my morning pages a la The Artists Way.
I realised that I have a bajillion amazing projects on the go, all half finished, and each one running an open tag in my mind.
It can be hard to get a project done, I know you appreciate this, dear reader. We have so many amazing ideas vying for attention, desperately wanting us to breathe life into them… that they end up half explored, or even worse ‘nearly there’.
Boo hiss! That’s no way to treat such treasure is it?
So I delved in more. What is it that stops us from completing amazing, but half arsed projects?
For me? I fail to complete because, frankly…there’s a possibility of me being too fabulous!
Because in my head, there’s a voice shrieking “How dare you shine!”, “How DARE you invite people to look at you”, “Just consider how ugly, and attention seeking and silly people will think you are!!!”
Let’s just say, these thoughts stuck me between my ribs. But I felt COMPELLED!
Ahhh, such drama! But I did. I felt compelled to get something DONE.
So I dragged out a project from March, a Pom pom crown. It was pretty much made, really it just needed assembling. And it felt good.
It felt good to get it finished. It felt good to put that daft thing on my head. So good in fact that it required a full production. By 9:30am I was attired in crown, sequins and full slap, posing for photos in front of the window.
It felt good to PLAY. To be FABULOUS and feel unabashed about it (although it did take some encouragement to post the photos on social media – by the way, you can follow me on instagram @carrieekins).
Now, why am I telling you this?? Well, I think you probably have the same fears? That you too have an internal critic that warns you off being bright or shiny.
We are scared of the fact that we could be freaking fabulous and freaking successful beyond measure and that PEOPLE MIGHT STARE.
And I’m here to say…LET THEM!
You are a freaking magnificent Unicorn and there is NO ONE with your uniquely awesome talents. So go do you.
Now you’re all fired up, watch this video, then get out a pad and pen and make your list
Making this crown, gave me the best laugh in months – especially when I learnt that my friend though it was a daft filter rather than an actual thing!
But more importantly than that, it was a significant act. I had held back from completing it because it was another step towards being the me I really feel I can be. It’s not headwear for wall flowers! People will look at me when I wear it. That’s kind of the point…even though I couldn’t have admitted that to myself when I started making it at the beginning of the year!
And I have put it into action, wearing it on Saturday evening for a mini workshop I gave as part of a bigger event.
It made a huge difference: I stepped more fully into my role of an entertaining educator; it gave me permission to be bolder, to encourage interaction and playfulness: it helped me break down social boundaries between strangers.
So I ask you, what is the project that you are afraid to complete? The one that opens up the next opportunity? The thing that will fulfill you and ask more of you? Is it a website, a book you’re writing, a course you’d love to do, a qualification that you’ve started?
Tell me about it, I’d love to know. Because when you share an idea it allows you to see what needs to happen next, and it shines a light on your fears. Fears live in the shadows and can not survive when brought out to the light. Because, my love, you are a magical unicorn, and within you there is so much delight and wisdom to be shared.