Here’s what I know…
Life is like a great big experiment. If you choose it to be, it can be one full of wonder and curiosity. As with all experiments you get to control the variables and view the data. Depending on your viewpoint, this data can be skewed – it’s possible to be objective, but oh so often we have a subjective take on it.
Depending on the kind of ‘experimenter’ you are, you can view the outcomes of your experiment either quantitatively – how much money you have in the bank, how much you’re worth. Or you can view it qualitatively – how does it make you feel, what have you experienced. Either way is fine. You can mix it up too, and run both quantitative and qualitative viewpoints at the same time (that gives you LOTS of interesting data)
So if we continue our experiment analogy, let’s think about the hypotheses. Every good experiment has one. A hypothesis is the thing you are testing, the thing you are gathering evidence to either ‘prove’ or ‘disprove’. It could be the belief that “I will only succeed if I work really hard” or maybe “Bad things always happen to me”. Perhaps you’re currently trialling “I’m open to the opportunity of great things coming my way” or “I get to choose my story everyday, my past is in the past”.
That’s a lot of possible hypotheses to test huh!
Now you get to choose which variables to tweak. Will you work more, will you work less – what’s the outcome? Will you expect the worst from life, or try a positive approach – what happens if you take on the world with a smile, rather than a scowl?
Will you take responsibility for your actions and show yourself compassion NO MATTER what happens, or will you continue to beat yourself up and hide your light- which one makes you feel more confident and leads to more forward movement?
Variables can be tweaked, outcomes can be measured, life can be a wonder experiment. So, with all that in mind, what are you playing with, what experiments are you running in your life? Let me know, I’d love to hear.
The personal experiment I’m running for myself is testing the experience of No. I’ve been thinking about what holds me back, and ‘NO’ is a big part of it. I internally crawl at the thought of being refused, even the possibility of a polite No thank you almost makes me want to put my head between my knees. Which is tricky, when the main purpose of marketing is to put your services in front of an audience and ask them if they’d like to buy it!
The word NO is powerful, it can be given and received and in each respect there are nuances. No is a demonstration of personal boundaries. Whoah. How many of us have issues with our boundaries? The MAJORITY of us.
And yet, time and time again, when I look at the happiest people I know (some of whom are also the most ‘successful’ people I know) every one of them has excellent boundaries AND are prepared to take the time to cultivate them as situations evolve.
So I’m choosing to unpack the gunk I hold around NO.
Why do I worry about saying NO? What does it say about me? Do women have a harder time than men in saying NO? If so why? Which are the feminine archetypes that take joy in No? How can I support my personality/character/nature/main archetypes to allow ease into my No? What are the underpinning self beliefs that stand in the way of excellent boundaries? Where do I feel fear of NO in my body? (above my right eyebrow, if you’re curious – go figure that one out!). Will greater No-ing lead to greater knowing?
You get the idea.
If you’re curious about this for yourself and would like to follow along as I unpack No, you’re welcome to come find me in my Wonder Experiment facebook group.